A Sarti Party ~: Give It Some Grace

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Give It Some Grace

Of course every mother thinks her baby(ies) are perfect and I am no exception. Bringing these tiny humans into this world is no small feat. It can take an emotional, physical and in our case a financial toll. Let me be clear, it was worth every tear, pinch and penny!

Having a baby, or two is hard on your body. I spent my twenties battling endomitriosis and being dissapointed by my body for the pain and discomfort I felt almost constantly. It wasn't until we experienced infertility that I truely felt betrayed. Making babies is what we're built to do and I was failing miserably. This is what led us to the physical, emotional and financial toll. Wah, wah, wah, I know! Now that I have my happy ending this all sounds like one big pity party, but that is not my point.

We count on our bodies to do so much for us and in many ways take that for granted. I know that I am very guilty of this, especially most recently. Every time I change in front of the mirror and see the crazy purple stretch marks all over my tummy and hips. Or when I feel that extra jiggle around the middle rushing down the stairs to grab more diapers. Or forcing my pants to button after months of forgiving elastic only to sit around uncomfortably with a muffin top and then switch back to the yoga pants. It sucks. And it makes me feel bad and embarrassed.

I don't want Dan thinking the things I do about my body. Then again, maybe I do. Because the more I think about it and put it all into perspective, my body has done an AMAZING thing. It grew two people, from scratch, at the SAME TIME. And while my body wasn't able to conceive these amazing babies without some help, I was able to grow them and that is not something that can be done at any fertility clinic, anywhere.

So the next time I'm changing or sitting in a pair of tight jeans, I'll remind myself that without these stretch marks and extra "padding", I would never have these miracle babies. Loving on them and caring for them is the most important thing I'll accomplish in my life, next to growing them.

As for curling up in the fetal position monthly for 12 years, the defunct ovaries and lack of breast milk, thanks for nothin'. All of that can be forgotten when I think of how I was able to carry and grow the two loves of my life, thank you, thank you, thank you!

I am reminded of a blog I read, shared by another mommy friend on Facebook...she said, "Your body has done a nearly impossible thing – give it some grace. It might not ever look like it did when you were 19 (a moment of silence, please), but it grew, accomodated, nurtured, and birthed another human being. Anatomically, it’s staggering and nothing short of miraculous. So rest assured, soft is beautiful. Motherhood is beautiful. Your body stepped up to the plate and did the most important thing when it mattered. Give your body some grace. (And with some hard work and a year or so’s time, you can get back to a slightly softer version of normal – new normal.)"

I will remind myself to do just that, give it some grace and enjoy the two most beautiful boys in the world!