Ice Cream Can't Get You Pregnant

Yes, there is a story behind this title. Obviously you can't get pregnant by eating ice cream! I have been wanting to tell our story for a while now but have hesitated to write it time and time again. I am nervous to put it all out there and relive the experience but I hope that sharing my story can help someone in their journey or a the least help raise awareness for others.

We've always known that we wanted kids and family is very important to us both. We decided to start planning for the family and this included purchasing a short term disability policy from my employer which would basically pay me part of my salary during a maternity leave. We knew this was the best and most responsible choice for us. Turns out, the policy must be effective for 1 year in order for pregnancy not to be considered a "pre-existing condition". 1 year isn't that long and we knew we were in the beginning "planning" stages so we took the time to pay off debt, travel and enjoy being a young married couple. Through that year of waiting I went through many phases of baby fever and even tossed the birth control before we were "officially" trying.

Fast forward one year and I was ready. I had it all figured out, (or so I thought). I had been tracking my cycles through basal body temperature and charting my ovulation using a monitor. I took prenatals, dha, and said goodbye to my nightly glass of Pinot Grigio. Dan had strict instructions as well; no bike rides, hot tubs, certain underwear and no cell phone in the pocket. It's a wonder he still wanted to have kids with this crazy chick! I was bound and determined to get pregnant that month. We planned Dan's work schedule accordingly and I was sure this was it. I tested a day or two before my period was expected and got my first of many BFNs. BFN = Big Fat Negative. I was devastated. Of course everyone had warned me not to put all of my eggs in one basket, but did I listen? NO!

The next couple of months went like clockwork, Dan's work schedule did present a challenge but we always made it work. Getting pregnant became my full time job. I bought baby aspirin to increase blood flow to the ovaries, I drank Robitussin to...well you probably don't want to know and here is where the ice cream comes in. I read that high dairy fats boost ovulation so I ate ice cream EVERY NIGHT. It became the running joke with sis in law/bff Sheila that we couldn't understand why I wasn't pregnant because of course I had been eating ice cream!

Six months in and we had gotten nowhere. I knew that each month there is a 20-25% chance of getting pregnant, 50% of couples take 5-6 months, and 85% get pregnant after 1 year. Sounds pretty good right? I also knew that if you have been diagnosed with a condition relating to fertility, seeing your doctor is recommended after 6 months of trying. I was diagnosed with endomitriosis at 17 and have had 2 surgeries in my 20's to remove the growth and scar tissue.


According to the Mayo Clinic "Endometriosis is an often painful disorder in which tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus — the endometrium — grows outside your uterus. Endometriosis most commonly involves your ovaries, bowel or the tissue lining your pelvis. In endometriosis, displaced endometrial tissue continues to act as it normally would: It thickens, breaks down and bleeds with each menstrual cycle. And because this displaced tissue has no way to exit your body, it becomes trapped. Surrounding tissue can become irritated, eventually developing scar tissue and adhesions — abnormal tissue that binds organs together.This process can cause pain — sometimes severe — especially during your period. Fertility problems also may develop."

 We decided that 1 year of "waiting" to try + 6 months like clockwork + endomitriosis = a visit to the OB/GYN. His first step was to refer us to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) aka fertility doctor to run initial testing on Dan and I. He also started me on 100mg of Clomid (a medication that induces ovulation) to continue trying naturally while we waited for results. My tubes turned out to be clear and Dan's semen analysis was reported back to us as within "normal parameters". Two cycles of clomid later I was back in the OB's office following up on our failed cycles with no real explanation other than the endomitriosis that blood tests had confirmed was not affecting ovulation. The heartbreak and emotions I was feeling at this point was clearly my intuition screaming at me that something else was going on. My OB offered me a referral back to the RE whenever we were comfortable with becoming more aggressive. I knew that there would be more testing involved and so I scheduled an appointment for the beginning of my next cycle, still holding out hope that I'd "turn up" pregnant like so many others seemed to be around me.

I had been living my life in cycles for what felt like forever, waiting for my period to show up. I had long since given up on peeing on a stick. I was able to take comfort in the fact that we were going to be able to get some answers. We had decided long before we even established our pattern of BFNs that we would do whatever it took to become parents. I'm so glad that we had agreed up on this before it even became an issue, it made the decision to move forward easy because seeing the infertility specialist was the natural and logical next step on our journey.  

The day of our appointment had been a particularly difficult day for my family due to circumstances with my brother (which is a whole different story), that left us both on edge for the consultation with the RE. After researching the clinic and options, I was fully prepared to complete their "diagnostic" tests and shell out the $950 for an IUI (Intrauterine Insemination, basically a natural cycle where the doc triggers your ovulation with a shot and the sperm is washed and injected at the perfect time to fertilize the egg). Dr. Z went through our history and original diagnostic testing that we had completed at the same clinic 3 months prior. He asked about the report we were given on Dan's "normal parameters" and I told him that I was never given specific numbers, despite pushing both the nurse and my OB/GYN to give me specifics 3 months ago. They brushed me off, saying "normal is normal". Well, score one for my intuition because according to Dr. Z the results were "anything but normal". We were SHOCKED to say the least. We were both prepared to move forward expecting my endo to be the culprit and some minor ART (assisted reproductive technology) would help us conceive the child we were so ready for. WRONG.

Without going into specifics Dan's results were unfavorable and likely not compatible with producing a natural pregnancy and upon further testing I was told that my endomitriosis had progressed from mild to moderate to a Stage 3/borderline Stage 4 with endomitrium; endomitrial cyts on my left ovary (preventing follicles from growing and releasing eggs). We were officially diagnosed with Infertility. 

According to RESOLVE "Infertility is a disease of the reproductive system.  One third (30%) of infertility can be attributed to male factors, and about one third (30%) can be attributed to female factors.  In about 20% of cases infertility is unexplained, and the remaining 10% of infertility is caused by a combination of problems in both partners."

Due to the male and female factor infertility (we're part of the 10%), Dr. Z said that our only chance at getting pregnant was through IVF with ICSI (InVitro Fertilization with Intracytoplasmic sperm injection - to guarantee fertilization of the egg). As far as fertility treatments go, this is pretty much the end of the road treatment wise before considering donor eggs/sperm or adoption. 


We were SO overwhelmed, processing all of the information as well as trying to understand how and why my OBGYN's office gave us the wrong information about Dan's results and kept us on a medicated protocol for 3 months that would have NEVER worked for us. Anger, resentment, fear, devastation, guilt, you name it. We went through it all. I can't explain how difficult it was for us to accept that we were not able to have children on our own. It was completely out of our hands and we both blamed ourselves. I can't capture in words how difficult this was for us to process individually or as a couple. Our dreams were shot and in order to recapture those dreams, we were going to have to make some tough decisions. 


We knew we wanted to put all of our effort into growing our little family, no matter what it took. This was a very difficult and personal decision that we made together based on our feelings and opinions and in no way took lightly. Each situation is different and every couple must make the decision that is best for them, this is the story of what WE chose. 


I'm sure that's enough reading as well as emotion for one post. Thank you for reading about our road to and diagnosis of infertility with an open heart and open mind. I will continue with our journey through IVF and the conception of our miracle babies in coming posts :) 

I struggled so much throughout the diagnosis and treatment process of infertility, often turning to blogs of other women in similar situations. There is a stigma that goes along with infertility and it is difficult to understand unless you are affected or educated about what it truly means. This is and will remain a difficult and painful part of our story but I feel that I have a responsibility to share my story to support, inspire or educate others out there who may or may not be affected by infertility.